Was yesterday. I turned 33 yesterday and woke up with a sore hip. I joked to C that perhaps I was turning 60 instead of 33.
I love my birthday. I always have high hopes for it to be a special day and now that I'm older and have kids and everyday life to deal with maybe the expectation should be lowered. I mean, other than a few family members, friends and my own husband, who really cares that it's my birthday.
That said, I did expect a little more than what I got. I should start with a disclaimer though. C is a wonderful husband and I consider myself lucky every day that he chose me. He is thoughtful and kind and absolutely the love of my life.
However, I did expect him to do something special for me. He ended up buying me a present because I never made up my mind about what I wanted. And that's fine. He bought me something that I've wanted that have never bought for myself due to cost. But he gave it to me 5 days early, in the bag from the store, unwrapped with no card or fanfare.
And yesterday turned out to be just another day. Nothing special for dinner, no flowers or special dessert, just a typical evening at home. It wasn't a bad evening at all, it just wasn't special.
For his birthday I not only bought him a present but snuck a card into his lunch and made him a special dinner followed by a homemade dessert. The dinner was not on his actual birthday but I planned it and told him in advance that I was doing it.
And the other thing that sucked? I made cookies to bring to work for my own birthday and not a single person even asked why I did it. The guys all just grabbed cookies and ate them without even questioning why they showed up. So not a single person in the office even knew it was my birthday - not that I wanted it to be a huge deal but it would have been nice to at least hear a few Happy Birthdays.
First world problems, I know. But it's been bugging me. I suppose it's time to lower my expectations.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Starting Solids
Reese turned 5 months on Oct. 21 and she has seemed more hungry lately so I decided it was time to start solids.
When Addy was ready (also around 5 months), I followed everything by the book. Started with rice cereal then moved to jarred purees. I did sneak some mashed up avocado in there but she pretty much ate jarred purees for months. Veggies before fruits to avoid a sweet tooth. Addy was our first, so of course we didn't question anything.
With Reese, I'm more interested in getting to the good stuff and doing as few purees as possible. Right now, she's getting oatmeal once a day (we're only on day 5) but I want to do things differently this time. I want to be able to give her things that we're having for dinner instead of making her a seperate meal. I want to put some cooked mushy pasta on her tray and let her go to town instead of spoon feeding her everything.
I know it takes time to reach that point, but I think we'll move a little faster than we did with Addy.
One thing that I did with Addy that I think helped her develop a wide palate was to give her chewed up bites of our dinners. If we were having chicken, I would chew some of the chicken and then give her the mush. I know it sounds gross, but other than pureeing it (ew) or buying the chicken in a jar (double ew), it was the only way she would get to taste it. And I like to think that is why Addy is not a picky eater today.
So we will see what actually happens with Reese and solids. I've heard it called Baby Led Weaning (BLW) but I need to do more research into it. I don't actually want her to wean until a full year has gone by so I need to see what it's all about.
When Addy was ready (also around 5 months), I followed everything by the book. Started with rice cereal then moved to jarred purees. I did sneak some mashed up avocado in there but she pretty much ate jarred purees for months. Veggies before fruits to avoid a sweet tooth. Addy was our first, so of course we didn't question anything.
With Reese, I'm more interested in getting to the good stuff and doing as few purees as possible. Right now, she's getting oatmeal once a day (we're only on day 5) but I want to do things differently this time. I want to be able to give her things that we're having for dinner instead of making her a seperate meal. I want to put some cooked mushy pasta on her tray and let her go to town instead of spoon feeding her everything.
I know it takes time to reach that point, but I think we'll move a little faster than we did with Addy.
One thing that I did with Addy that I think helped her develop a wide palate was to give her chewed up bites of our dinners. If we were having chicken, I would chew some of the chicken and then give her the mush. I know it sounds gross, but other than pureeing it (ew) or buying the chicken in a jar (double ew), it was the only way she would get to taste it. And I like to think that is why Addy is not a picky eater today.
So we will see what actually happens with Reese and solids. I've heard it called Baby Led Weaning (BLW) but I need to do more research into it. I don't actually want her to wean until a full year has gone by so I need to see what it's all about.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Birthday
My birthday is in less than 2 weeks and C told me that I needed to make a decision. He said that I could either have a gift, or we could do something. But it's up to me to decide what I'd like to do and I for some reason can't.
Do you do the thing where you won't buy things for yourself but you'll allow them for your birthday or Christmas? Like right now I want some boots. I always want boots in the fall. But I think that spending money on boots that, let's be honest, I won't wear that much anyway is kind of frivolous so I won't actually buy them for myself.
But my birthday?? Perfect excuse to spend $50 on some boots!
But then again, there's something to be said for a night out with my hubby. C & I kind of got thrust into this life. I would absolutely not change a single thing but it all happened so quickly. It's so important for us to take some time for ourselves, to remember why we're in this. That it's more than kids and jobs and obligations. We chose this.
I think it's easy to get bogged down in every day life. To focus on what the kids need or getting dinner on the table or to focus on some problem or project at work. And those things need to happen, absolutely. But every once in a while, its nice to get dressed up, to compliment each other, to walk hand in hand with no strollers in the way and to spend some time together.
Well, this post didn't end up where I thought it would. I still don't know what to do for my birthday but I know C will make it a great day no matter what I choose.
Do you do the thing where you won't buy things for yourself but you'll allow them for your birthday or Christmas? Like right now I want some boots. I always want boots in the fall. But I think that spending money on boots that, let's be honest, I won't wear that much anyway is kind of frivolous so I won't actually buy them for myself.
But my birthday?? Perfect excuse to spend $50 on some boots!
But then again, there's something to be said for a night out with my hubby. C & I kind of got thrust into this life. I would absolutely not change a single thing but it all happened so quickly. It's so important for us to take some time for ourselves, to remember why we're in this. That it's more than kids and jobs and obligations. We chose this.
I think it's easy to get bogged down in every day life. To focus on what the kids need or getting dinner on the table or to focus on some problem or project at work. And those things need to happen, absolutely. But every once in a while, its nice to get dressed up, to compliment each other, to walk hand in hand with no strollers in the way and to spend some time together.
Well, this post didn't end up where I thought it would. I still don't know what to do for my birthday but I know C will make it a great day no matter what I choose.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Sleep Training Break Down
No, I didn't have a break down. I thought I'd break down how it all went.
We almost didn't start on Thursday because we were having a rough evening at home. I had at least one clogged duct (I suspect it was 2 or one really big one) and starting to have body aches and not feel well. Addy isn't napping at preschool which makes her extra... pleasant when we get home and C had to work late.
Fortunately, Reese was able to help with the clogged duct issue and Addy cheered up and C got home eventually and we ordered a pizza for dinner.
I took Reese upstairs and got her in her pjs. I nursed her in the glider in the nursery with the lights off and only a night light on. She was pretty tired, having been awake for 4+ hours so she actually passed out when I put her in the crib.
She woke up 3 times that night and each time I went through the 5-10-20-40 method, though we never actually made it to 40. Each time I went in and rubbed her back while making the Shhhhhh sound. The first few times it actually seemed like it was pissing her off more than helping but she eventually gave in each time.
The next night we did the same thing (though I think she had a bath first) and she fussed while going to sleep but didn't last long. She only woke up once the entire night, around 3:30am and fussed for a few minutes and then fell back asleep. I never even had to get out of bed!
Saturday night was the same story.
And the kicker of the whole thing, Sunday night she never woke up (that I know of)!
I should also point out that each morning I've had to wake her up. So she's sleeping around 11-12 hours each night which is amazing.
She did wake up this morning at 4:45am or so and I did go in and shush her and she eventually went back to sleep. She also woke up again before I was ready, around 6am but basically around when I would have gotten her up anyway.
I joked that I feel like a new woman with the uninterrupted sleep I'm getting. In reality, I'm still tired at night but I think it will start to feel better the more she sleeps.
So we are officially moved into the nursery with a baby who is mostly a great sleeper (knock on wood)!
We almost didn't start on Thursday because we were having a rough evening at home. I had at least one clogged duct (I suspect it was 2 or one really big one) and starting to have body aches and not feel well. Addy isn't napping at preschool which makes her extra... pleasant when we get home and C had to work late.
Fortunately, Reese was able to help with the clogged duct issue and Addy cheered up and C got home eventually and we ordered a pizza for dinner.
I took Reese upstairs and got her in her pjs. I nursed her in the glider in the nursery with the lights off and only a night light on. She was pretty tired, having been awake for 4+ hours so she actually passed out when I put her in the crib.
She woke up 3 times that night and each time I went through the 5-10-20-40 method, though we never actually made it to 40. Each time I went in and rubbed her back while making the Shhhhhh sound. The first few times it actually seemed like it was pissing her off more than helping but she eventually gave in each time.
The next night we did the same thing (though I think she had a bath first) and she fussed while going to sleep but didn't last long. She only woke up once the entire night, around 3:30am and fussed for a few minutes and then fell back asleep. I never even had to get out of bed!
Saturday night was the same story.
And the kicker of the whole thing, Sunday night she never woke up (that I know of)!
I should also point out that each morning I've had to wake her up. So she's sleeping around 11-12 hours each night which is amazing.
She did wake up this morning at 4:45am or so and I did go in and shush her and she eventually went back to sleep. She also woke up again before I was ready, around 6am but basically around when I would have gotten her up anyway.
I joked that I feel like a new woman with the uninterrupted sleep I'm getting. In reality, I'm still tired at night but I think it will start to feel better the more she sleeps.
So we are officially moved into the nursery with a baby who is mostly a great sleeper (knock on wood)!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Tonight We Dine In Hell
In reality, tonight we sleep train. God help us.
We were probably ready to start sleep training weeks ago but put it off for various reasons. I wanted to see the doctor for her 4-month check up and make sure she was at a healthy weight and that there was no medical reason for her to nurse 2-3 times during the night. I also wanted to get his take on our process. With the trip we made over the weekend, I didn't see the point in starting before completely disrupting our schedule.
Mentally, I'm torn. I have been ready for this for at least a month. Ready for a full night's sleep. Sweet baby Reese wakes up 2-3x per night and even though I go right back to sleep, it is most certainly taking a toll on me. (Most evident by my crashing on the couch around 9:15pm last night...)
But listening to my baby cry in the middle of the night? That's going to be a challenge.
Our doctor recommended we do a modified Ferber method. Tonight we will put her in her crib and come back at 5-10-20-40 minute intervals. He said that we are not allowed to even pick her up and if we must make physical contact that 2 quick pats on the back or rump will suffice. We are to say in a firm but soothing voice, "Reese, it's time for sleep. Mommy and Daddy love you very much. Good night."
She will evenutally pass out and will wake up again probably around midnight if she follows her schedule. We follow the same pattern as above, and again when she invariably wakes up around 3am.
If all goes well,she won't get up for real until 6:30-7am, but we'll see.
The next night, we repeat but do 10-20-40 instead. The third night I think we do 20-40-60 (if she makes it that long). Hopefully there won't be a fourth night.
We chose tonight because I'm off tomorrow and can recoup and then its the weekend. I suspect this will be harder on me though we did it with Addy. It's not that C doesn't care, but he's more practical about how this is not a selfish move, she is ready too.
After this weekend, assuming it all worked, there will be no more baby stuff in our room!! Bye bassinet! See ya changing pad and diapers! Hello our room, back to the way it was.
Wish us luck!
We were probably ready to start sleep training weeks ago but put it off for various reasons. I wanted to see the doctor for her 4-month check up and make sure she was at a healthy weight and that there was no medical reason for her to nurse 2-3 times during the night. I also wanted to get his take on our process. With the trip we made over the weekend, I didn't see the point in starting before completely disrupting our schedule.
Mentally, I'm torn. I have been ready for this for at least a month. Ready for a full night's sleep. Sweet baby Reese wakes up 2-3x per night and even though I go right back to sleep, it is most certainly taking a toll on me. (Most evident by my crashing on the couch around 9:15pm last night...)
But listening to my baby cry in the middle of the night? That's going to be a challenge.
Our doctor recommended we do a modified Ferber method. Tonight we will put her in her crib and come back at 5-10-20-40 minute intervals. He said that we are not allowed to even pick her up and if we must make physical contact that 2 quick pats on the back or rump will suffice. We are to say in a firm but soothing voice, "Reese, it's time for sleep. Mommy and Daddy love you very much. Good night."
She will evenutally pass out and will wake up again probably around midnight if she follows her schedule. We follow the same pattern as above, and again when she invariably wakes up around 3am.
If all goes well,she won't get up for real until 6:30-7am, but we'll see.
The next night, we repeat but do 10-20-40 instead. The third night I think we do 20-40-60 (if she makes it that long). Hopefully there won't be a fourth night.
We chose tonight because I'm off tomorrow and can recoup and then its the weekend. I suspect this will be harder on me though we did it with Addy. It's not that C doesn't care, but he's more practical about how this is not a selfish move, she is ready too.
After this weekend, assuming it all worked, there will be no more baby stuff in our room!! Bye bassinet! See ya changing pad and diapers! Hello our room, back to the way it was.
Wish us luck!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
This Isn't Math
When I first lost my mom, I was ANGRY. I was angry at the way that my work at the time treated the whole thing (which I blogged about) and I was angry at anyone who dared to complain about life. I probably should have taken a break from Facebook at the time because anytime someone had the audacity to say anything negative I thought, "Oh, you think you have it bad? My mom is dead."
This manifested in many ways like, "Oh, you had to put your dog down? See above." And, "Oh, your baby kept you up all night. Mom."
And then I lost my job and I just felt like my world was crashing down. I was 4 months pregnant with no job, no mom, and a brand new house to pay for.
For those of you who were following me, you know how this story ends and I'm happy to say that not only did I survive, but I'm in such a better place now except for still missing my mom.
For a while I thought that the only people who were allowed to complain to me were people who had suffered similar or worse. People who had lost either a baby, a parent, or a spouse. Because no one else knew how bad it could be. I was on a different wavelength when it came to suffering.
But then my friend got diagnosed with cancer and that sucked. And then, within 5 months, her grandma passed. And I started to think about how she felt. And first I thought, well, it was her grandma and my mom trumps her grandma so NBD. (Not really NBD, just comparatively.)
Then I saw that new show, Go On, where Matthew Perry's character is dealing with losing his wife and he joins a support group and they all start comparing stories. And as stupid as it is to learn a life lesson from a sitcom, I did.
You can't compare grief. You don't know how people process or cope. Sure, maybe losing my mom was a bigger blow than my friend losing her grandma but how do I know? Maybe her grandma was like a second mom to her. And what about my poor brother, who in the span of 2 years lost both a baby and a mom?
At 32 (almost 33), I'm still learning. Fortunately, no one got hurt while I learned this lesson.
I've been missing my mom a lot lately and blogging offers a little release. So you might see more mom entries for a while.
This manifested in many ways like, "Oh, you had to put your dog down? See above." And, "Oh, your baby kept you up all night. Mom."
And then I lost my job and I just felt like my world was crashing down. I was 4 months pregnant with no job, no mom, and a brand new house to pay for.
For those of you who were following me, you know how this story ends and I'm happy to say that not only did I survive, but I'm in such a better place now except for still missing my mom.
For a while I thought that the only people who were allowed to complain to me were people who had suffered similar or worse. People who had lost either a baby, a parent, or a spouse. Because no one else knew how bad it could be. I was on a different wavelength when it came to suffering.
But then my friend got diagnosed with cancer and that sucked. And then, within 5 months, her grandma passed. And I started to think about how she felt. And first I thought, well, it was her grandma and my mom trumps her grandma so NBD. (Not really NBD, just comparatively.)
Then I saw that new show, Go On, where Matthew Perry's character is dealing with losing his wife and he joins a support group and they all start comparing stories. And as stupid as it is to learn a life lesson from a sitcom, I did.
You can't compare grief. You don't know how people process or cope. Sure, maybe losing my mom was a bigger blow than my friend losing her grandma but how do I know? Maybe her grandma was like a second mom to her. And what about my poor brother, who in the span of 2 years lost both a baby and a mom?
At 32 (almost 33), I'm still learning. Fortunately, no one got hurt while I learned this lesson.
I've been missing my mom a lot lately and blogging offers a little release. So you might see more mom entries for a while.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Potty Party
We waited until Addy was over 3 (like 3 years, 4 months) to hop on the potty train. In some respects, it was too long but really we needed to wait until she was ready.
Signs your child is ready:
We had to wait until after Reese was born to avoid any regression and also we waited until after our 9-day trip to avoid complications. We got home on a Saturday and started training on Sunday.
We did some reading and decided to just do the naked plan. We stripped her down and gave her juice and basically headed for the potty every 30 minutes. We made a "Potty Prize Bowl" full of stupid stuff from the Dollar Store and every time she went successfully, she got a prize. We didn't want to do solely candy as that didn't sound to healthy.
We tried putting her in underwear but something about having something on made her think she could go in them. It didn't matter that it was underwear and not a diaper so we evenutally resorted to the naked plan.
The third day of training, we felt like leaving the house. We'd been cooped up for two days and Addy was kind of starting to get it. Being naked helped a lot. So we waited til she went, set the timer for 1 hour and went for a walk. Addy wore clothes on our walk but was commando.
While we were out, she had an accident and while that wasn't a big deal, she didn't seem to even react to it. She wasn't worried about it, she just kind of tried to wipe it away with her hand and carry on playing. That was probably our mistake, to let her play and get distracted. So we went to the bathroom, changed her and then cleaned up the mess.
It's important to note that every time she had an accident, we stretched out the changing and cleaning process so that she couldn't just go back to playing. She needed to know that it was a big deal and unpleasant to deal with.
We spent the week following the same pattern. Potty, 1 hour on the clock, errand. Sometimes we ended up visiting potty at Target and sometimes she was just fine. She only had one accident in the car. At home, naked, she was great. Something about being naked allowed her to feel the urge more than in clothing.
After one week, Addy went to daycare and honestly, that seemed to really help. It probably had something to do with having other potty trained kids around. The first day we sent her commando but our daycare provider didn't like that so we did panties the other days and she was just fine.
Addy has been "potty trained" for over 2 months now with mostly successes. Her first week of preschool was a challenging one in that she had an accident almost every day. She seems to have figured that out now and is having a great week so far.
However, poop is a different story altogether. She has pooped in the potty exactly 3 times with much screaming and crying and becoming hysterical every time. She does NOT like it. She will wait until bedtime when she gets a diaper on most days instead of going. No amount of promises/bribes of ice cream, toys, candy, etc. will get her to go. We have let it go, assuming that she will eventually get over it.
And that is our potty training saga. I wish you better success with yours!
Signs your child is ready:
- They recognize that their diaper is dirty
- They know the difference between pee & poop
- They wake up dry from naps & nighttime
- They express interest
We had to wait until after Reese was born to avoid any regression and also we waited until after our 9-day trip to avoid complications. We got home on a Saturday and started training on Sunday.
We did some reading and decided to just do the naked plan. We stripped her down and gave her juice and basically headed for the potty every 30 minutes. We made a "Potty Prize Bowl" full of stupid stuff from the Dollar Store and every time she went successfully, she got a prize. We didn't want to do solely candy as that didn't sound to healthy.
We tried putting her in underwear but something about having something on made her think she could go in them. It didn't matter that it was underwear and not a diaper so we evenutally resorted to the naked plan.
The third day of training, we felt like leaving the house. We'd been cooped up for two days and Addy was kind of starting to get it. Being naked helped a lot. So we waited til she went, set the timer for 1 hour and went for a walk. Addy wore clothes on our walk but was commando.
While we were out, she had an accident and while that wasn't a big deal, she didn't seem to even react to it. She wasn't worried about it, she just kind of tried to wipe it away with her hand and carry on playing. That was probably our mistake, to let her play and get distracted. So we went to the bathroom, changed her and then cleaned up the mess.
It's important to note that every time she had an accident, we stretched out the changing and cleaning process so that she couldn't just go back to playing. She needed to know that it was a big deal and unpleasant to deal with.
We spent the week following the same pattern. Potty, 1 hour on the clock, errand. Sometimes we ended up visiting potty at Target and sometimes she was just fine. She only had one accident in the car. At home, naked, she was great. Something about being naked allowed her to feel the urge more than in clothing.
After one week, Addy went to daycare and honestly, that seemed to really help. It probably had something to do with having other potty trained kids around. The first day we sent her commando but our daycare provider didn't like that so we did panties the other days and she was just fine.
Addy has been "potty trained" for over 2 months now with mostly successes. Her first week of preschool was a challenging one in that she had an accident almost every day. She seems to have figured that out now and is having a great week so far.
However, poop is a different story altogether. She has pooped in the potty exactly 3 times with much screaming and crying and becoming hysterical every time. She does NOT like it. She will wait until bedtime when she gets a diaper on most days instead of going. No amount of promises/bribes of ice cream, toys, candy, etc. will get her to go. We have let it go, assuming that she will eventually get over it.
And that is our potty training saga. I wish you better success with yours!
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