Thursday, December 22, 2011


I feel like coming here and just pouring out all the stupid crap that's been happening lately, but I don't want to be a whiner or put all of this shit on the internet for everyone to read about.

On the other hand, its apparent to me that no one reads my blog anyway, save for like 4 people.

As of Dec. 17th, my mom has been gone for 4 months.  It seems like longer with everything that's been happening.  I'll be honest, it hasn't been a great 4 months.  I mean, I don't have a job and I'm pregnant which isn't making me super confident about our future.  I know we'll be fine and all that but its crazy to be job hunting while pregnant.

I have an interview today but its for a contract position which isn't great.  It would basically cover me through actually having the baby and then I'd be out of a job again.  At least its something right?  It puts money in the bank account and gives us some security.

So that's stressing me out.  Christmas is stressing me out just because it's our first one without mom.  I don't know really what to do or how to make it ok.  I know that whatever I do its going to be wrong, just that it's not going to feel right and its going to take us a few years to figure this whole thing out.

But I'm ready to accept it and we'll just roll with it this year.

Monday, December 19, 2011

12 Weeks

Originally written 11/8:

Happy 12 Weeks!  Officially 1/3 done, right?  (Really, wouldn't 1/3 be next week at 13 weeks since full term is 40 weeks?  Whatever.)

Hopefully in the next few weeks I start to feel much better in terms of nausea and fatigue.

There's not much else to report so here we go:

How far along?:  12 weeks
Total weight gain/loss:  I don't weigh myself at home much so I only rely on the dr's office which means this only gets updated after each appt.  So, +1 pound.
The Bump: Yeah, it's there even if some people claim its not.  It totally is.
What I’m excited about/looking forward to:  The second trimester "burst of energy"
Maternity Clothes:  I went through my old maternity clothes over the weekend and I'm in much better shape than I thought!  I bought 2 sweaters over the weekend, 1 is a cardigan which will DEFINITELY come in handy.
Symptoms:  Had some slight cramping and a few episodes of dizziness over the weekend.  I actually stayed home yesterday to rest.  The nurse I spoke to said I just need to drink more water which makes sense.
Belly Button in or out?:  In.
Food Cravings/Aversions:  We had Mexican 3 times over the weekend, Thank you Corey for indulging me!  Grilled cheese sounds GOOD right now.
What I miss:  Honestly, nothing really.  Except maybe looking like I hadn't had 1 too many burritos.
Milestones:  I think it's crazy early for this but I'm feeling some flutterings today.  It's probably gas, but the dr. did say I'd feel them earlier.  12 weeks seems a little soon for it though. 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Week 11

Originally written 10/31:

I finally got to see the doctor and hear the little peanut's heartbeat for the first time!  I totally teared up at hearing that little sound.  It's just so reassuring to hear it and know they're doing ok in there.  

The dr started messing with me and said, "It's a girl!" but then admitted that there was NO possible way to know that at this point.  When the baby is so little, so early on, the heart is working much harder than later on in the pregnancy.  Plus, you never know what the peanut is doing in there, maybe backflips or punching my uterine walls or something.  I will record the bpm from each appointment though, just to see if there's truly a correlation (for me).

10 weeks BPM: 174

Other than that, I spent the weekend alternating between feeling pretty good and feeling down right yucky.  Apparently this pregnancy/baby doesn't care that it was my birthday.  I got a lot of sleep though and some good food so I can't complain too much.

How far along?:  11 weeks
Total weight gain/loss:  All that worrying for nothing.  Up a grand total of 1 lb.
The Bump:  Still there, still fitting in most clothes.  Just becoming more obvious.
What I’m excited about/looking forward to:  2nd trimester energy surge!  We'll see, mostly just looking forward to not wanting to throw up most of the time.
Maternity Clothes:  Nope, but I did buy a size larger sweater over the weekend.  There should be some good sales soon plus I found out there's a maternity consignment shop in the cities so I'll probably visit there.
Symptoms: No change from last week, still tired, still fighting nausea.
Belly Button in or out?:  In. I don't see this changing.
Food Cravings/Aversions: Soup & sandwiches are always good.  Oh, and I love sweets but they almost backfired on me today.  Too much sugar had me feeling like I was going to pass out.  I had Chipolte over the weekend and it was pretty good!
What I miss:  Having energy and not feeling ill.
Milestones:  Heard that wonderful heartbeat!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Week 10

Originally written 10/25:

My friends were in town over the weekend and despite being exhausted (both during their visit and especially after) we had a great time.  I wasn't the party-pooper I was worried I'd be, I stuck it out both nights, staying up until at least 12 both nights!  I still got to enjoy great meals and lots of laughs and stories and it was great.

Other than that, not a lot has changed this week.  I'm seriously starting to show so I'll need to come clean soon.  I need to tell my family before I tell more people at work because I work with someone related to me.  So if he hears at work, there's a chance he'll tell our relatives before I do, just because he won't know not to.

Still feeling ill a lot, but I think it's getting slightly better.  I bought some bigger bra sizes and that seems to help a little.  I think if I could just quit wearing a bra for the next 4 weeks, I'd probably be great.  I'm also avoiding things like tomato sauces and spicy things since they seem to aggravate my stomach.

How far along?:  10 weeks
Total weight gain/loss:  I'll find out for sure on Friday but I hope it's just not more than 3-4 lbs.  I'd really like to keep things under control.
The Bump:  It feels bigger to me this week but I'm jaded.  Who knows what it looks like to an outsider.
What I’m excited about/looking forward to:  Seeing the doctor on Friday and hearing the heartbeat.
Maternity Clothes:  Just bigger bras so far.  Definitely wearing looser pants lately.
Symptoms: Nausea (which is really more like acid reflux) and exhaustion.  Craving sleep like no other.
Belly Button in or out?:  In. I don't see this changing.
Food Cravings/Aversions: Craving Mexican, buffalo anything, and CARBS.  We ate out over the weekend and I kept asking people for bread baskets which I could never get.  Aversions are nothing and anything.  Just depends on the moment.
What I miss:  Having energy and not feeling ill.
Milestones:  Baby is the size of a lime this week!  I am just so excited to see the doctor!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Week 9

Originally written 10/17:

Not much to report this week except that nausea has kicked in full time.  I told someone over the weekend that I forgot just how bad it was with Addy.  I think I glossed over it (like everything having to do with pregnancy & L&D) and now that it's here I'm miserable.  2 nights in a row I haven't been able to eat more than 1/2 my dinner.  3 nights in a row I went to bed feeling like absolute crap.  I actually slept on the couch for a while Saturday night so that I could sit up.

And I can handle it but I'm worried about how this is going to affect me and my class.  If I feel miserable at night, what am I going to do when I feel ill in the middle of class?

I'm also worried because my friends are coming to visit next weekend and I'm scared that I'm going to be a party pooper because I won't feel well at all and I'll be crazy tired.  They all know I'm pregnant though, so hopefully they'll understand a little.

How far along?:  9 weeks
Total weight gain/loss:  Weighed myself naked this morning and my weight hasn't really changed.  We'll see next week.
The Bump:  Pretty much the same as last week.
What I’m excited about/looking forward to:  Hopefully in 3-4 weeks I'll start feeling better and have more energy.  I remember feeling better with Addy but pretty much ALWAYS being tired.
Maternity Clothes:  No but I got some of my bigger sizes out of storage and they don't fit yet (yay!) so it will be a bit before I use those too.  I went to a baby sale over the weekend and found a pair of maternity corduroys for $5!
Symptoms: Nausea and Fatigue.  Almost like the flu.
Belly Button in or out?:  In. I don't see this changing.
Food Cravings/Aversions: For the time being, I'm avoiding tomato products as it seems to irritate my sensitive tummy.  So no pasta or pizza or anything like that.  I made soup for dinner last night and thought it would be great but started feeling horrible half way in.  I wish I could find a "magic food" that would make me feel better.
What I miss:  Having energy and an appetite.
Milestones:  Kind of a small one but I bought an ADORABLE bassinet at the baby sale and we took it apart and washed everything and it's ready to go.  Addy loves it and wheels it around and tried to get in it a few times but I think she gets it's for the baby and not her.  She put her Arnold in there and sang to him, it was crazy cute.