You're killin' me Smalls!

My crazy baby is going to be the one who breaks me.  But in a good way, you know?

Reese will be 7 months old in 3 days.  In her 6th month she:

• Has started crawling for real - she has been army crawling for a good month now but she's up on her knees and moving
• Has a tooth!  My doctor said that you take their age in months minus 6 and that's a guideline to how many teeth she should have. 
• Can sit up on her own - not for long periods of time but she can do it!
• Has stood up a few times.  She managed to crawl to something, put her hands on it and continue to move her feet.  Then she got her feet under he and was basically standing while leaning on the ball.  Fortunately, she hasn't figured out how to do this in her crib yet.

By comparison (not that you should compare your children), Addy was crawling at 7 months, didn't get a tooth until like 9 months and walked at 11 months.

Never having had 2 children before, I wrongly assumed that we knew what to expect from Reese because we'd had Addy.  While I knew deep down that no 2 children are alike, I expected that Reese would develop roughly the same as Addy.

But no, Reese is in a hurry for everything apparently.  I wonder if this will be an indication of her personality later in life.  Wanting to blaze her own path and prove herself to be different than her sister and her own woman.

The tone of this post probably doesn't convey how in awe I am of my baby.  We hit the 5 month mark and she turned into a new baby.  Suddenly happy almost all the time and HUGE smiles!  She loves Addy more than anything, you can tell.  She's always crawling over to her and watching her and Addy can make her laugh more than anyone.  I desperately hope that their relationship only grows as they do.  I always longed for a sister but never got one unfortunately and I'm so happy that my girls have eachother.

It's A Date

In an effort to put more... effort into our relationship, C & I came up with an idea for this coming year.  Well, really I stole the idea from something I saw on Pinterest and C & I modified it to suit us.

We divided up the next year into 2 groups of 6 months, we each get every other month and we each have to plan a date for that month.  The date can be anything from very simple to quite elaborate, there really aren't any rules.

By Christmas, we each need to have our 6 date ideas in envelopes labeled by month and we'll put them up somewhere to keep them safe.  At the beginning of each  month, we'll open that envelope, see what the date idea is, get the calendar and actually plan the date!

For instance, I have January.  My date idea for January is for us to go to a museum together (nerd alert!) of his choosing and then to lunch or dinner or do lunch first and then the museum.  Either way.

So in January we will open the Jan. emvelope and read the date description then we will pick the day we'd like to go, contact our babysitter and make it happen!

I'm very excited about this and hope that it works and isn't something that we just abandon after a few months.  The idea of the envelope is that we're supposed to plan as much as possible ahead of time.  So for the museum & food, I might pick up a gift card for a restaurant we can go to. 

Here's a quick list of my months and ideas:
January - Museum & lunch/dinner
March - I have already registered us to run a 5K together and then we will do brunch
May - This is our anniversary month...I think I will try to plan a fancy dinner where we get dressed up & maybe an overnight
July - Kayak trip in Cannon Falls & either a picnic lunch or grabbing something after
September - Segway tour of Minneapolis
December - I'd love for us to both skip work and spend a day together Christmas shopping but I'm not sure that will work.  I might  make it the main idea but have a back up in place just in case.

Other date ideas I came up with are: Dave & Busters, a brewery tour, catching a show at a Theatre, a cooking class together, just going to Happy Hour to spend time talking, Wine tasting, rock climbing...

I did buy a groupon deal for a wine tasting that I need to work in there somehow but it's kind of out of the way for the other things I have planned.  Perhaps I can work it into May.

Here's to building our relationship in 2013!

6 Month Check Up

Reese had her 6 month check up yesterday and I wanted to record her stats here so I remember them!

Weight: 15lb 8.5oz
Length: Almost 27 inches
Head Circumference: About 17.25 inches

Reese is doing well/advanced in: Gross Motor Skills - meaning that she is almost crawling which really impressed the doctor and she's able to feed herself crackers.  Both are above her skill set.

Reese is still developing in: Language skills - meaning that she is apparently supposed to be babbling but she isn't.  She makes sounds, two syllable sounds, but she does not repeat them.  No sounds like "ba-ba-ba-ba".  The doctor seemed concerned for a moment that she might have a hearing problem but Reese responds to her name and other noises so it's not an issue.

Other notes: Reese still has a clogged tear duct in her right eye that hasn't cleared up.  While it's not a huge concern, if it's still present in a month, we'll probably have to see a pediatric optometrist and we'll discuss probing the tear duct to clear the blockage.  That sounds like it will suck but if it makes her better I guess.

The doctor was overall very impressed with Reese.  The fact that she's moving (army crawling) is super advanced.  We also spoke about the fact that Reese only takes one nap per day but she's gaining weight well and seems overall happy so she wasn't too concerned.  She was actually impressed that Reese goes from 7pm to 6am without food or waking up (now that we re-trained her) because apparently that's also advanced.  She said she would expect 6-8 hours, not 11.

All good news for Reese!

VICTORY!!

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.  We did.  It was made even better by 2 things.

1) Reese was born on 5/21.  Since June of this year, I have been fighting with Aflac to get disability money from them on a policy that I had prior to getting pregnant.  There have been all sorts of reasons why they didn't want to pay me and I've been wading my way through their paperwork and call center trying to get this taken care of.  Mind you, Reese is 6 months old now.

The issue is that approximately 6 days prior to Reese's birth, I stopped working.  See, I was going to have a baby and wanted a few days to myself.  Since this was a contract position and I had already accepted a full time position elsewhere, I was no longer employed by K Company. 

Even though I wasted numerous breaths and hours explaining this to Aflac, they still needed an Employer statement filled out despite the fact that I did not have an employer at the time of the "incident".

I finally got someone at K Company to fill out the paperwork for me and submit it.  I got a letter from Aflac on Saturday and was sure it was telling me my claim had been denied yet again for various stupid reasons.  You can imagine how pleased I was to find a check!  Victory is mine!

*Side note: If you are planning to have a baby but are not yet pregnant, I suggest you talk to an Aflac agent.  At the very minimum, get Hospital Indemnity coverage which paid me right around $3K for my hospital stay with Reese.  It doesn't matter what your current insurance covers, they don't even ask.  You submit the hospital bill along with some claim forms (does not require an Employer statement) and they send you a check.  Your amount may vary depending on how much you pay in and you have to pay for 10 months prior to having the child but in the end we got roughly 2.5x what we paid in.

2) We re-trained Reese to sleep through the night.  I know, I know, it was like 1.5 months ago that I was talking about training her and how successful it was and now I had to re-do it all.  She started waking up once a night at like 3am and I started going and nursing her then.  I told myself that she was growing and hungry and gave in. 

Well, enough is enough and we put a stop to it over the weekend.  We've had 2 nights in a row of solid sleep and it's great.  I will probably eat my words in a few months when she's teething but for now, it's great.

So yes, I was able to claim victory over 2 things in my life and I am happy to do so!

A Brazilian for your Head

Friday was my last furlough day at my company and I spent it as a Me Day.  Both girls went to their respective daycares/preschools, C went to work and I did whatever I wanted to do.  You should know that doing what I wanted to do included running on the treadmill, getting my hair done, doing laundry and spending time cleaning the house.  So a little Me time and a little House time.

A while ago, I bought a groupon for a Brazillian Blowout which I have been DYING to get done.  For those who don't know me IRL, I have wavy, frizzy, thick hair that can be hard to manage.  I usually would end up either spending 30 minutes blowdrying & straightening it or spending 10 minutes putting mousse and other crap in it and scrunching it to wear it curly.  It was extremely rare that you would ever see me with wet hair since I hated it in its air dried state.

I bought the groupon (Note: I say groupon to mean any daily deal thing.  I think this one was actually from Living social.) and decided to treat myself.  I really had no idea what to expect, I only hoped that it would make my mornings easier by reducing the amount of time I spend on my hair.

The process took about 2.5 hours - it varies based on how long your hair is and how thick it is.  They wash it twice with a clarifying shampoo to remove any products or oils that might be present.  Then they apply the solution in sections which seems the same as applying color.  It's then blowdried completely and flat ironed in tiny sections to seal in the chemicals and finally washed again to remove any excess chemicals.

After it was finished, my hair looked so healthy and shiny and felt amazing.  It was 100% straight, something I've never had before. 

I waited 48 hours before washing it which was difficult and I felt icky.  My hair seemed to hold up pretty well but I wouldn't have gone anywhere the 2nd day until showering.  I also avoided putting my hair in a ponytail just to be sure I wouldn't introduce any kinks.

I was finally able to wash it on Sunday and I blowdried it afterward and was amazed.  There's almost no need to even use a flatiron now.  Just to touch up the ends I suppose and curl them under.  It's insane and SO much faster than it used to be!

I want this to last as long as possible (max 3 months) so I'm only washing it every other day, which is taking some getting used to.  I put some baby powder on my roots today to get rid of some oil.  I think my hair needs to adjust as well so things should be better before too long. 

All in all, it was an amazing treat for myself.  If it didn't cost so much normally, I would absolutely do it every 3 months.  As it is, I can maybe see myself doing it once a year, maybe when summer starts so that mornings go faster and to beat the humidity.

Absolutely, 100% recommend!

Losing It

You know that commercial on TV with the cartoon couple where the wife talks about losing weight?  And she talks about how she & her husband give up carbs together and he loses like 20lbs and she loses 3?

This is my real life.

It's not like I expected the baby weight to melt off right away, I've done this before and I'm older now.  I know that it takes time and some effort.  But I also know that breastfeeding should be helping this journey.

I've been trying meaning to work out but it's hard with 2 kids.  I get home from work, after picking up both girls and feed/entertain them while we wait for C to get home.  IF he gets home at a reasonable time and IF it's not my turn to make dinner and IF the girls are cooperative, then MAYBE I'll have time to run.  And you ladies know that getting ready to run takes time to change into workout clothes, remove make-up, and stretch all before you can actually get moving.  Add in finding your water bottle and headphones and finding something that you can actually listen to, while, most nights it just doesn't even happen.

C always says that if I want to work out then I'll make it happen.  He certainly does.  He runs 2-3x per week with one of those being a long run on the weekend.  I admire his dedication and the fact that he truly does make it happen.

Back to the commercial, weight is like melting off him.  He complains all the time about his pants being too big or shirts ballooning on him.  I only feel a little sorry for him.

I've actually told him not to lose any more weight, not because I'm jealous (mostly), but because I don't think it's healthy for him.  He weighs something like 165 and I think that's low for his frame.

In the mean time, I lost 20lbs in 5.5 months but those last 10 seem determined to hang around.  And it's not that I weight a horrible number (142) but it's more than I'd like. 

I managed to run 3x last week, including one family trip to the Y.  I'd like to keep it up and see if I can get the scale moving again.  I'd like to at least set a good foundation before the holidays hit.

Unlike the commercial, I won't be taking supplements.

You Get What You Pay For

JC Penny is running a promotion right now with their photo studios where you get free sitting fees, a free 8x10" picture and a free (low resolution) digital image just for coming in.  Their hope, I assume, is that you'll spend lots of money buying pictures from them to make up for all the things they waived.

One of the things I wanted for my birthday was to do a nice family photo shoot to get an image we could use on a Christmas card.  My thought was that we'd get a photographer to come do a family shoot and end up with precious photos of our family and the girls to put in our home.

Instead, after seeing the promotion, we decided to give jcp a shot.

I had misgivings because they're a corporation after all.  It wasn't at my home, it was a big studio.  But I expected that the photographer would take time to ask what we wanted and have creative poses for us.

I told them that we wanted to get some good family photos and some nice pictures of the girls.  We all wore our Converse shoes so I thought it would be fun to use them in some way.  We brought cute hats for the girls to wear as well.

Now, I understand that children are unreliable.  That they don't always co-operate and that they don't understand what's being asked of them.  Especially a 5-month old.  But, given what I asked for you would think that I would get ONE useable picture of both girls together.  I did not.

Don't they look thrilled??

I wish that they had had the multiple shot feature where it would have taken 3-4 shots each time the button was pushed.  This one could have been good.

I don't even know what Addy is doing here.

And here are some good ones:

This will likely be our Christmas card picture.

I cropped this from the above photo - it was the only way to get a good shot of the girls together!

I think we ordered a larger one of this size for our wall, though I feel like she framed it poorly.  There's a lot of empty space above our heads.

So now that you've seen them - here's my thoughts.  The photographer did not suggest any poses other than us standing and holding the girls and seating Reese in a basket with Addy next to her.  I suggested we sit and it was like she'd never thought of that.  I mentioned our shoes and she apparently thought I meant I wanted them cropped out (which she did anyway).  Why would we ALL wear the same shoes if I didn't want them in a picture?

All-in-all, we got what I wanted which was a nice-ish family shot plus a Christmas card photo.  Plus, grand total spent was $12 for the entire thing - sitting fees, digital copy, 2 8X10", 1 5X7", and one 10x13".

We'll try again next year.

The Day of My Birth

Was yesterday.  I turned 33 yesterday and woke up with a sore hip.  I joked to C that perhaps I was turning 60 instead of 33.

I love my birthday.  I always have high hopes for it to be a special day and now that I'm older and have kids and everyday life to deal with maybe the expectation should be lowered.  I mean, other than a few family members, friends and my own husband, who really cares that it's my birthday.

That said, I did expect a little more than what I got.  I should start with a disclaimer though.  C is a wonderful husband and I consider myself lucky every day that he chose me.  He is thoughtful and kind and absolutely the love of my life.

However, I did expect him to do something special for me.  He ended up buying me a present because I never made up my mind about what I wanted.  And that's fine.  He bought me something that I've wanted that have never bought for myself due to cost.  But he gave it to me 5 days early, in the bag from the store, unwrapped with no card or fanfare.

And yesterday turned out to be just another day.  Nothing special for dinner, no flowers or special dessert, just a typical evening at home.  It wasn't a bad evening at all, it just wasn't special.

For his birthday I not only bought him a present but snuck a card into his lunch and made him a special dinner followed by a homemade dessert.  The dinner was not on his actual birthday but I planned it and told him in advance that I was doing it.

And the other thing that sucked?  I made cookies to bring to work for my own birthday and not a single person even asked why I did it.  The guys all just grabbed cookies and ate them without even questioning why they showed up. So not a single person in the office even knew it was my birthday - not that I wanted it to be a huge deal but it would have been nice to at least hear a few Happy Birthdays.

First world problems, I know.  But it's been bugging me.  I suppose it's time to lower my expectations.

Starting Solids

Reese turned 5 months on Oct. 21 and she has seemed more hungry lately so I decided it was time to start solids. 

When Addy was ready (also around 5 months), I followed everything by the book.  Started with rice cereal then moved to jarred purees.  I did sneak some mashed up avocado in there but she pretty much ate jarred purees for months.  Veggies before fruits to avoid a sweet tooth.  Addy was our first, so of course we didn't question anything.

With Reese, I'm more interested in getting to the good stuff and doing as few purees as possible.  Right now, she's getting oatmeal once a day (we're only on day 5) but I want to do things differently this time.  I want to be able to give her things that we're having for dinner instead of making her a seperate meal.  I want to put some cooked mushy pasta on her tray and let her go to town instead of spoon feeding her everything.

I know it takes time to reach that point, but I think we'll move a little faster than we did with Addy.

One thing that I did with Addy that I think helped her develop a wide palate was to give her chewed up bites of our dinners.  If we were having chicken, I would chew some of the chicken and then give her the mush.  I know it sounds gross, but other than pureeing it (ew) or buying the chicken in a jar (double ew), it was the only way she would get to taste it.  And I like to think that is why Addy is not a picky eater today. 

So we will see what actually happens with Reese and solids.  I've heard it called Baby Led Weaning (BLW) but I need to do more research into it.  I don't actually want her to wean until a full year has gone by so I need to see what it's all about.

Birthday

My birthday is in less than 2 weeks and C told me that I needed to make a decision.  He said that I could either have a gift, or we could do something.  But it's up to me to decide what I'd like to do and I for some reason can't.

Do you do the thing where you won't buy things for yourself but you'll allow them for your birthday or Christmas?  Like right now I want some boots.  I always want boots in the fall.  But I think that spending money on boots that, let's be honest, I won't wear that much anyway is kind of frivolous so I won't actually buy them for myself.

But my birthday??  Perfect excuse to spend $50 on some boots!

But then again, there's something to be said for a night out with my hubby.  C & I kind of got thrust into this life.  I would absolutely not change a single thing but it all happened so quickly.  It's so important for us to take some time for ourselves, to remember why we're in this.  That it's more than kids and jobs and obligations.  We chose this.

I think it's easy to get bogged down in every day life.  To focus on what the kids need or getting dinner on the table or to focus on some problem or project at work.  And those things need to happen, absolutely.  But every once in a while, its nice to get dressed up, to compliment each other, to walk hand in hand with no strollers in the way and to spend some time together.

Well, this post didn't end up where I thought it would.  I still don't know what to do for my birthday but I know C will make it a great day no matter what I choose.

Sleep Training Break Down

No, I didn't have a break down.  I thought I'd break down how it all went.

We almost didn't start on Thursday because we were having a rough evening at home.  I had at least one clogged duct (I suspect it was 2 or one really big one) and starting to have body aches and not feel well.  Addy isn't napping at preschool which makes her extra... pleasant when we get home and C had to work late.

Fortunately, Reese was able to help with the clogged duct issue and Addy cheered up and C got home eventually and we ordered a pizza for dinner. 

I took Reese upstairs and got her in her pjs.  I nursed her in the glider in the nursery with the lights off and only a night light on.  She was pretty tired, having been awake for 4+ hours so she actually passed out when I put her in the crib.

She woke up 3 times that night and each time I went through the 5-10-20-40 method, though we never actually made it to 40.  Each time I went in and rubbed her back while making the Shhhhhh sound.  The first few times it actually seemed like it was pissing her off more than helping but she eventually gave in each time.

The next night we did the same thing (though I think she had a bath first) and she fussed while going to sleep but didn't last long.  She only woke up once the entire night, around 3:30am and fussed for a few minutes and then fell back asleep.  I never even had to get out of bed!

Saturday night was the same story.

And the kicker of the whole thing, Sunday night she never woke up (that I know of)! 

I should also point out that each morning I've had to wake her up.  So she's sleeping around 11-12 hours each night which is amazing.

She did wake up this morning at 4:45am or so and I did go in and shush her and she eventually went back to sleep.  She also woke up again before I was ready, around 6am but basically around when I would have gotten her up anyway.

I joked that I feel like a new woman with the uninterrupted sleep I'm getting.  In reality, I'm still tired at night but I think it will start to feel better the more she sleeps. 

So we are officially moved into the nursery with a baby who is mostly a great sleeper (knock on wood)!

Tonight We Dine In Hell

In reality, tonight we sleep train.  God help us.

We were probably ready to start sleep training weeks ago but put it off for various reasons.  I wanted to see the doctor for her 4-month check up and make sure she was at a healthy weight and that there was no medical reason for her to nurse 2-3 times during the night.  I also wanted to get his take on our process.  With the trip we made over the weekend, I didn't see the point in starting before completely disrupting our schedule.

Mentally, I'm torn.  I have been ready for this for at least a month.  Ready for a full night's sleep.  Sweet baby Reese wakes up 2-3x per night and even though I go right back to sleep, it is most certainly taking a toll on me.  (Most evident by my crashing on the couch around 9:15pm last night...)

But listening to my baby cry in the middle of the night?  That's going to be a challenge.

Our doctor recommended we do a modified Ferber method.  Tonight we will put her in her crib and come back at 5-10-20-40 minute intervals.  He said that we are not allowed to even pick her up and if we must make physical contact that 2 quick pats on the back or rump will suffice.  We are to say in a firm but soothing voice, "Reese, it's time for sleep.  Mommy and Daddy love you very much.  Good night."

She will evenutally pass out and will wake up again probably around midnight if she follows her schedule.  We follow the same pattern as above, and again when she invariably wakes up around 3am.

If all goes well,she won't get up for real until 6:30-7am, but we'll see.

The next night, we repeat but do 10-20-40 instead.  The third night I think we do 20-40-60 (if she makes it that long).  Hopefully there won't be a fourth night.

We chose tonight because I'm off tomorrow and can recoup and then its the weekend.  I suspect this will be harder on me though we did it with Addy.  It's not that C doesn't care, but he's more practical about how this is not a selfish move, she is ready too.

After this weekend, assuming it all worked, there will be no more baby stuff in our room!!  Bye bassinet!  See ya changing pad and diapers!  Hello our room, back to the way it was.

Wish us luck!

This Isn't Math

When I first lost my mom, I was ANGRY.  I was angry at the way that my work at the time treated the whole thing (which I blogged about) and I was angry at anyone who dared to complain about life.  I probably should have taken a break from Facebook at the time because anytime someone had the audacity to say anything negative I thought, "Oh, you think you have it bad?  My mom is dead."

This manifested in many ways like, "Oh, you had to put your dog down?  See above."  And, "Oh, your baby kept you up all night.  Mom."

And then I lost my job and I just felt like my world was crashing down.  I was 4 months pregnant with no job, no mom, and a brand new house to pay for. 

For those of you who were following me, you know how this story ends and I'm happy to say that not only did I survive, but I'm in such a better place now except for still missing my mom.

For a while I thought that the only people who were allowed to complain to me were people who had suffered similar or worse.  People who had lost either a baby, a parent, or a spouse.  Because no one else knew how bad it could be.  I was on a different wavelength when it came to suffering.

But then my friend got diagnosed with cancer and that sucked.  And then, within 5 months, her grandma passed.  And I started to think about how she felt.  And first I thought, well, it was her grandma and my mom trumps her grandma so NBD.  (Not really NBD, just comparatively.)

Then I saw that new show, Go On, where Matthew Perry's character is dealing with losing his wife and he joins a support group and they all start comparing stories.  And as stupid as it is to learn a life lesson from a sitcom, I did. 

You can't compare grief.  You don't know how people process or cope.  Sure, maybe losing my mom was a bigger blow than my friend losing her grandma but how do I know?  Maybe her grandma was like a second mom to her.  And what about my poor brother, who in the span of 2 years lost both a baby and a mom? 

At 32 (almost 33), I'm still learning.  Fortunately, no one got hurt while I learned this lesson.

I've been missing my mom a lot lately and blogging offers a little release.  So you might see more mom entries for a while.

Potty Party

We waited until Addy was over 3 (like 3 years, 4 months) to hop on the potty train.  In some respects, it was too long but really we needed to wait until she was ready.

Signs your child is ready:

• They recognize that their diaper is dirty
• They know the difference between pee & poop
• They wake up dry from naps & nighttime
• They express interest

I think I should note that Addy really hadn't shown any of the signs but 3 is old enough to go anyway.  I couldn't take the thought of changing diapers on a 4-year-old.

We had to wait until after Reese was born to avoid any regression and also we waited until after our 9-day trip to avoid complications.  We got home on a Saturday and started training on Sunday.

We did some reading and decided to just do the naked plan.  We stripped her down and gave her juice and basically headed for the potty every 30 minutes.  We made a "Potty Prize Bowl" full of stupid stuff from the Dollar Store and every time she went successfully, she got a prize.  We didn't want to do solely candy as that didn't sound to healthy.

We tried putting her in underwear but something about having something on made her think she could go in them.  It didn't matter that it was underwear and not a diaper so we evenutally resorted to the naked plan.

The third day of training, we felt like leaving the house.  We'd been cooped up for two days and Addy was kind of starting to get it.  Being naked helped a lot.  So we waited til she went, set the timer for 1 hour and went for a walk.  Addy wore clothes on our walk but was commando.

While we were out, she had an accident and while that wasn't a big deal, she didn't seem to even react to it.  She wasn't worried about it, she just kind of tried to wipe it away with her hand and carry on playing.  That was probably our mistake, to let her play and get distracted.  So we went to the bathroom, changed her and then cleaned up the mess. 

It's important to note that every time she had an accident, we stretched out the changing and cleaning process so that she couldn't just go back to playing.  She needed to know that it was a big deal and unpleasant to deal with.

We spent the week following the same pattern.  Potty, 1 hour on the clock, errand.  Sometimes we ended up visiting potty at Target and sometimes she was just fine.  She only had one accident in the car.  At home, naked, she was great.  Something about being naked allowed her to feel the urge more than in clothing.

After one week, Addy went to daycare and honestly, that seemed to really help.  It probably had something to do with having other potty trained kids around.  The first day we sent her commando but our daycare provider didn't like that so we did panties the other days and she was just fine.

Addy has been "potty trained" for over 2 months now with mostly successes.  Her first week of preschool was a challenging one in that she had an accident almost every day.  She seems to have figured that out now and is having a great week so far.

However, poop is a different story altogether.  She has pooped in the potty exactly 3 times with much screaming and crying and becoming hysterical every time.  She does NOT like it.  She will wait until bedtime when she gets a diaper on most days instead of going.  No amount of promises/bribes of ice cream, toys, candy, etc. will get her to go.  We have let it go, assuming that she will eventually get over it.

And that is our potty training saga.  I wish you better success with yours!

A Typical Day

I think a lot of my readers have only 1 child at this time and are probably planning on another.  I thought it would be interesting to document a typical day for us to give you an idea of what happens when you add a second child to the mix.

Take this all with a grain of salt though - Reese is still a baby and requires more than Addy.  In about 8 months this will look completely different.

Some time around 2-3am - Reese wakes up so I lurch over to her bassinet, grab her, return to bed, nurse her and then put her back down.  She usually fusses for a minute but goes back to sleep.
5am - Alarm goes off - I hit snooze and hope it was just a bad dream
5:06am - Nope, I'm not getting back to sleep, up and in the shower to start getting ready.
5:30am - Wake up C and try not to wake up Reese
5:35am - Reese is awake, sit and feed her and hope she can hang out til I finish getting ready
6am - Wake up Addy and tell her to get dressed. Head downstairs to get breakfast and pack up to leave. 
6:05am - Addy comes downstairs naked and carrying her clothes.  That's fine as along as she dresses herself.
6:20ish - Nurse Reese again
6:32am - Leave for work
7am - 4pm - Work - 3 pumping sessions squeezed in around meetings and lunch.
4:30pm - pick up Reese, chat with daycare lady to see how she was during the day
4:50pm - pick up Addy, chat with teacher to find out how Addy did and if she had an accident
5pm - Nurse Reese.  Depending on her day she may take a snooze or not.  Depending on the day I might have to start cooking dinner (C & I take turns cooking).  Depending on how all this works out I *might* be able to get on the treadmill but probably not.  During this time Addy is supposed to play by herself but mostly ends up asking me to watch "Addy shows" or play "Addy Games" on the kindle or phone.  She also wants a snacky and a drinky.  Get the mail. Check facebook and whatever else while nursing.  Wash pump parts.
6:30pm-ish - sit down to dinner.  If we're lucky, Reese will sit in the "shakey chair" while we eat but most of the time C & I trade off holding her and eating.  Reese usually wants to eat sometime in here again.
7pm-ish - finish dinner and clean up.  Every other night is bath night so either we head upstairs to start baths or we hang out for 20 or so minutes.  C & Addy usually use this time to throw Addy on the couch and tickle her.
7:30pm - start getting both girls ready for bed.  Addy in pjs with brushed teeth and Reese in her pjs and swaddled.  We try to pick out clothes with Addy for the next day too.  C & I take turns reading to Addy so if it's my turn I nurse Reese while C helps Addy get ready and then I read, otherwise we divide and conquer.
8pm - at this point both girls should be down for the night.  Usually after Addy has been in bed for approximately 20 minutes she will come tell us she pooped in her night time diaper (I am thinking of writing another post about potty training but for now all you need to know is that Addy is scared to death of pooping in the potty and holds it until she's in a diaper again - or goes in her underwear...)
8-9:30pm - C & I finish cleaning up dinner, pack things for the next day and finally get to sit on the couch and relax.
9:30pm - start getting myself ready for bed as quietly as possible so Reese stays asleep.
11-12ish - Reese wakes up for a snack.

Lather, rinse, repeat!

The First and The Last

C has declared that we will not have more babies.  To me, that remains to be seen but he has stated his case.  We can have more kids, but no more babies.

So that means that Reese will pontentially be my last baby.  And it's sad!  As frustrating as babies can be, I love the baby stage.  I love the big grins, the cooing, the snuggling.  I absolutely loved taking a nap with Reese snuggled up on my chest, so tiny.  I don't know if I treasure it more because it could be the last time or if I just love it that much anyway.

I love Addy too, but in a different way.  I will be honest and admit that I'm not a huge fan of the 2-3 year old stage.  I think that's actually a reflection on me and the amount (or lack) of patience I have.  Some times I just can't handle the Whys and the questions and the flat out ignoring/not listening.  I hate yelling at her but it happens more than I care to admit.

C is the opposite, he dislikes the baby stage (obviously) and loves this current stage.  He loves that Addy can tell us what's wrong or what she needs, that he can play with her and make her laugh and actually talk to her.  And yes, I like those things too, but well, you saw how I feel up there.

Addy started preschool this week and the biggest thing was that it hasn't even seemed to phase her.  I want to chalk it up to our preparation at home with talking it up for a few weeks and making a big deal of packing her backpack and picking out her outfit and everything, but I really think Addy is just kind of unflappable.  The first morning, she just ran off, eager to explore and play with all the new toys.  I had to force her to hug me goodbye.

I have no doubts that we will have rough mornings and she'll do some clinging, but for the most part she's ready to head off into the world with hardly a glance back.

I firmly believe that it will be even harder with Reese, knowing that its my last.  I know C will be so excited to have them grow up but a little piece of me will always miss the babies.

Dear Reese

Dear Reese,

You turned 3 months old yesterday!  We've had a lot of change and you actually have been doing pretty well with everything we've thrown at you lately.  One thing you'll learn about our family is that we can't seem to sit still for long but maybe that's not a bad thing.

You've been home with Dad for a few weeks now while I returned to work.  It wasn't too hard of an adjustment because you got to stay home and I felt better knowing you were in your own home, with Dad.  You did fuss a little when taking the bottle at first but I like to think that it's only because you missed me :-)

This week we had to start you in daycare because the school year is starting and Dad needs to get ready.  We found a nice lady with a nice home and what seems to be a great program for when you're older and I think she's doing a pretty good job with you.  In only 2 days you're already eating and napping like a champ so I'm not too worried about you during the day.

You've been having some stomach issues lately and giving Dad & I a run for our money when it comes to bedtime.  I think you're gassy a lot but I can't figure out why.  I don't know if I'm eating something that's bothering you or if you've just got a sensitive tummy.  I'm hoping that now that we've hit the 3-month mark that things will start to smooth out.  It would be better for all of us.

Dad and I are also wondering if you're teething early because all you want to do is suck (feed) or chew on something.  You quiet down when you get a finger or pacifier in your month.  It would be super early but not unheard of I suppose.

You are so much fun lately, you have HUGE smiles when you're happy!  You've started making little squeaks when you smile like you're talking to me and I love to sit and smile and coo back to you. 

I should mention that you are also already rolling over, about a month early.  You can go both from stomach to back and back to stomach, but you go more back to stomach.  You certainly keep Dad & I on our toes!

I'm excited to see what the next few months bring us.  I love you little girl!

Love, Mom

One Year

On July 17th it was the 1-year anniversary of my  mom's passing.  For a few months after she passed, I wondered what we would do that day.  Would my brothers and I come together and find a way to honor and remember her?  Would we all be a little closer, having grown over that year? 

The answer is that I spent that day by waking up at 4am to catch a 6:30am flight from LA to Cleveland with my 2 small children.  To be honest, I can't even remember now exactly what we did.  (We went to the store, cooked dinner and hung out until we all crashed - I just remembered.)

Yes, I thought of her off and on through out the day and I missed her but it was mostly nothing new.

When she passed, we had her cremated and the remains were simply placed in a cardboard box that went home with my dad.  As far as I know, he put that box on the mantle and it is still there.  I don't know, I haven't been in the house for quite some time.  When all this was happening, I requested that eventually we do something, put something somewhere so that we would all have a place to go to visit her, talk to her, remember her.  That hasn't happened.

I miss her every single day.  I think about her every day.  I have dreams about her and I wish they were good dreams where she reassured me that everything was ok, but mostly she's sad in them.

I stopped going to therapy at the beginning of this year.  It wasn't because I thought I was done but because I was pregnant, starting a new job, etc.  Busy.  If I were still there I'm sure that she would have recommended that I do something to honor her like go to her favorite place for lunch or write her a letter or something. 

As for all of us being closer, we're not.  Not that we're further apart, just that things don't really seem to have changed.  With one exception, my dad.  There has been a lot of turmoil over the past year in our relationship and we are distant.

If there isn't a place to go and visit her, perhaps I'll have to create one.

Mish-mash

I have started and deleted 2 blog posts in the last week.  One because I decided you didn't really want to read about my daycare woes (and the post was getting to be crazy long [and boring if I'm being honest]) and one because it got confusing.

I have a hard time telling only part of a story.  So when I want to write a post about my relationship with the Church and religion, I feel like I need to start at the very beginning with my childhood and what led to this point.

Here is a gist of things I want to write about but haven't had time or don't want you falling over from boredom:

• How we as a family are thinking about distancing ourselves from the Catholic church and perhaps looking into more of a Christian religion that doesn't make us say a prayer to deny gay couples the right to marry.  I think they should be allowed to marry and I don't want to teach my girls that gay couples are something to be looked down on.
• Side note: Why isn't there as big an effort against divorce?  I would think it's way more harmful to marriage than gay couples.
• Daycare - how hard it is to find the right one, how weird it is that I have to pay for their time off, and events leading up to our switch.  Basically, after some mis-communication Reese is going to a brand new (to us) daycare starting in a few weeks.  Addy will be in pre-school so we will no longer be using our previous one.  Sad, but it had to happen.
• I am crazy and already planning our trip to Ohio for Christmas.  Basically, I want to buy tickets because the price is reasonable but C's extended family can't ever figure things out so he wants to just buy the tickets and what happens, happens.  I want to make sure that Reese can see her great-grandma so I don't want to buy tickets until we know what's going. 
• Tangent post - C thinks its unfair that we make all kinds of effort to come visit but no one comes to see us except his mom.  I counter that when we visit everyone is in one place (We see every aunt, uncle, cousin, etc.) whereas each one of them would have to buy tickets.
• C went crazy and started seriously looking into moving back to California and I freaked out and we had a fight and he agreed to back off a bit.  The end of this is that we're not moving.  Yet.  If ever.
• I'm back to work.  I already wrote about this but I could write forever about schedules, pumping at work, etc.  It's going fine, basically.
• I don't speak to my dad hardly at all any longer.  I thought after my mom passed that things would change and we would become closer and he would come over for dinners but I'm afraid that our relationship has been damaged beyond repair.  I think that's really sad.

So there you go.  Jacque's mind - in 1000 words or less.

New Directions

A little shout out to the Glee fans (New Directions is the name of the Glee club).

As of Monday, I now work for A Corporation.  Those of you who are my FB (and Real life) friends already know what the real name is but I don't want to risk getting fired so A Corporation it will remain here.

Changes like a new job impact all areas of your life, whether you're prepared or not.  Spending 10 weeks at home with Reese was amazing and the best thing I could have done.  Having C home with me was like icing on the cake.  I honestly loved being able to spend time with him and amazingly we didn't even get sick of eachother.

But going back to work is both a blessing and a curse.  Pros: I feel like a contributing member of society, PAYCHECKS, time away from my loved ones (makes the heart grow fonder), and a schedule.  Cons: I miss my family (since I got used to being home), no more sleeping in or mid-day naps, and most of the time coming home to chaos as I try to catch up with C & Addy and feed Reese and figure out some dinner etc.

Note: I don't think that SAHMs are not contributing members of society.  I simply know that I am not cut out to be one.  More power to you moms who do stay home because I know how hard it can be.  For me, having a job outside the home provides us the luxuries we have and its so ingrained in me to work that staying home isn't even an option.

Things will get harder once the school year starts.  C is teaching a brand new class (to him) this year which means more planning.  Plus, he may not get a free period at school  which means the planning happens before and after school.  A is starting pre-school which we're all very excited about but its a change.  And of course, Reese is still a baby and will be starting a new daycare.  C & I are struggling with tryign to figure out the pick up/drop off schedule already. 

I think that if we can make it through this year that we'll come in to a place where things settle down and we can enjoy being a family.  By  next summer Reese will be 1, Addy will be 4 and hopefully C will have tenure.  And hopefully I'll be settled and enjoying my new position. 

Break

I am SO sorry for the extra long break here, something happened with out laptop and I literally couldn't sign in to blog!

Granted, I have a 9 week old baby around too, but she does sleep occasionally. 

We just got back from our epic trip and I have to say, it wasn't horrible - the traveling that is.  Seeing our friends and family is always great.  The day before the trip I was starting to regret planning such a huge trip, flying from Cali to Ohio and being on the road for 9 days.  In retrospect, it probably was the best way to do it because now we're home and it's done.

Reese is getting bigger every day and starting to settle.  She still occasionally has some stomach issues but they seem to be less frequent so that's good.  She's a great sleeper, last night she slept 7 hours followed by 3!  Of course, that 3 hour stretch ended at 6:15 so I've been awake for a while now.  I guess it's good practice for going back to work, which I do next week! 

Going back to work is a good and a bad, mostly because it will be good to get back to work (and earn a paycheck) but I've really loved being home with C, Addy & Reese this summer.  I feel like we didn't take advantage of it like I wanted to but we have an infant, so what did I expect we'd get done?

This week being my last week home, and our daycare being closed, we decided to tackle potty training Addy.  She's almost 3 1/2 so I think its time for sure.  It's been an interesting week.  She does well at home, while running around naked but as soon as we put bottoms on her (shorts or pants, no undies or diapers) she seems to have issues.  Like she can't remember.  She can't run around naked at daycare so I hope she figures it out soon.

I'm attaching a couple pictures from our trip, enjoy!

A Day in the Life

It's funny because while I was pregnant with Reese I worried about how our life would change once we had 2 kids.  I worried about how Addy would adjust, if she would still feel loved and included and safe or if we would have some major problems.  I worried about if C & I would still find time to connect and talk or if we'd just be busy taking care of both kids. 

But I never worried about the day-to-day and how in the world we'd get things done like cooking dinner and laundry and cleaning and perhaps that's where I should have spent my energy.  Because if Addy weren't still going to daycare then I have absolutely NO idea how I would manage to get anything done like feeding and showering myself.

Now that C's summer vacation has started, our routine has changed drastically.  Addy still goes to daycare 3 days a week (to both hold her spot and to keep her social - she really likes her friends there) but he & I are both be home every day together.  That's a lot of together time.

This past 3 weeks have been about me just figuring out what Reese needs and recovering from having a baby.  We've been lucky that she's pretty good about sleeping at night.  She wakes up 3-4 times to eat and get a new diaper but most of the time goes right back to sleep.  We work hard on making sure that she gets plenty of awake time during the day.  In fact, today she's already logged 2 hours of awake time today and it's only 8am. 

Our first doctor's appointment last week was great.  Reese was back to birth weight and everything checked out well.  We got a Rx for eye drops since she seems to have a clogged tear duct and instructions to come back in a few weeks.  We have an appt. to get her in right before our big trip so she's got her shots.

Sleeping baby = breakfast time!

40 Weeks

Originally written 5/21:

Note: This is the last post of the series.  What's funny is that I wrote this approximately 2 hours before my water broke and Reese was born this same day!  How funny to look back and see how desperate I was to have her, and then I did! 

Reese is 2 weeks old today and couldn't be sweeter - except when she's screaming her head off.  We're off to the doctor today for our first check-up and I'll be anxious to see how much she's gained.

First things first, Happy Anniversary to C & Me!  One whole year since we stood up and made our vows!  And to think, I've never done wedding photo recaps.  But then again, it has been one crazy year.

So, in the interest of being completely honest (which I've tried to do with these posts), I am a little upset that I'm writing this 40 week post.  Because I convinced myself that I'd have a baby by now.  And yes, I realize that I have little control over it but I figured with it being my second and all that she would be early.

And, I'm just tired of being pregnant.  40 weeks is a long time.  I keep telling myself that things could be so much worse.  I know people who have been on bed rest or had all kinds of issues with pain and I'm very lucky to be healthy and able to still do (almost) everything that I want to do.

In baby news, basically everything is done.  The hospital bag is packed and actually in the car.  Addy's bag is packed except for the few things that she uses every day like her stuffed animal friend, Arnold.  I installed the car seat base last week and cleaned up the car. 

So now, we wait.

How far along?:  40 weeks - GAH!
Total weight gain/loss:  Last week's appointment had me up 32lbs.  I'll take it.
The Bump:  I'm getting Braxton Hicks that I actually recognize this time (If I had them with Addy, I didn't know.)  It's crazy how hard my stomach gets during them.
What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Just seeing her!
Maternity Clothes: What's funny is that at this exact moment, I'm not actually wearing anything maternity.  I don't have maternity pajamas because I never saw the point, but this bump doesn't allow much to fit anymore.
Symptoms: I am losing my mucus plug!  With Addy, it all came out at once but now its a little at a time.  It's a sign of progress!
Belly Button in or out?: In. I don't see this changing.
Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing.  I still love cereal and have like 2 bowls every morning.
What I miss: Sleeping comfortably.  My hips hurt now, both sides so its impossible to get comfortable these days.
Milestones: Any time now - seriously baby ANY TIME.

One Year Ago

Ok, so I'm late with this, mostly because Reese decided that she couldn't wait for her own day and was delivered on our first wedding anniversary!  But I never did get around to blogging our wedding photos so I thought I would do a quick post with just a few of my favorite pictures while Reese is sleeping. 

So here are some photos to kind of walk you through the day:

Some day, I'll do a real post with details about the big day but for now, duty (or doody) calls! 

39 Weeks

Note: Reese was born 5/21 and is now one week old, but I couldn't resist finishing out the series!

Originally written 5/14:

To be honest, I never really thought I'd make it here.  I mean, I did in the beginning but the closer we got, the earlier I thought I would go.  I know that babies come when they want and she's got her reasons for being in there still, but I really hoped that I'd be able to say I had a baby by now!

Mother's Day was low key but C tried hard to make it a nice day for me.  He made me breakfast, and a really tasty dessert after dinner and wrote me a sweet card.  Other than that it was a pretty normal Sunday.

I'm a sucker and I'm still working but only for 2 more days.  I figured it was better than sitting around at home wondering when she'd decide to come out.  Of course, I have projects I could be working on.  I planned out my week so of course she'll come soon.  Addy did the same thing.  I thought I'd have all this time to do things so I spaced them out so I wouldn't over-do it and then I got 2 whole days.

I bought some wood to make growth charts (they'll look like this, but not nearly that good).  I bought paint for them and some decals to stick on and I'm hoping that it won't be too hard to do.

The hospital bag is packed and the car seat is all the way back together!  I think C is nervous that he'll be in class when it happens and he won't be able to get home right away but I think it will be ok.  I really hope its similar to Addy where it started at 3:30am and he stayed home with me for the day.

Hopfully this is the last one!

How far along?: 39 weeks
Total weight gain/loss:  Blargh, officially passed the 30lb mark but just barely!  I go on Wednesday and we'll see where I'm at then. 
The Bump:  It sure makes it hard to do normal things like putting lotion on my legs.  BUT, it has definitely dropped!
What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Just seeing her!
Maternity Clothes:  I actually wore a dress to work today (it's a big deal).  I also bought one pair of shorts & one pair of capris to wear this week, assuming I have time to wear them.
Symptoms: Even the heartburn hasn't been too bad!  Swollen for sure thoug.
Belly Button in or out?: In. I don't see this changing.
Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing.  Seriously, there are things I like to eat but nothing that I simply HAVE TO HAVE.
What I miss: Sleeping comfortably still.  I got a new pillow and that helps but I wake up with a sore back and hips most of the time.
Milestones:  Any time now - LITERALLY!

Baby Reese

Well, I knew this would happen.  On Monday, May 21, I wrote my 40 week update lamenting all about how this baby was apparentely NEVER coming out and I was going to be pregnant forever.  I spoke to a friend that same morning and she tried to make me feel better.

I went to take a shower around 11am and figured I should shave my legs because "you never know" and maybe it would be the last time.  I had a contraction in the shower but didn't think much.  I got out of the shower and felt like something was coming out so I sat on the toilet, expecting my mucus plug which meant I had 1-3 days left to go.  Instead, I peed and then each time I shifted, more came out.  At first I figured I just hadn't emptied my bladder completely but then it kept going.  You guessed it, my water had broken!

At first, I wasn't sure what to do.  Everytime I moved more fluid came out.  I had no idea how to contain it.  I put a towel between my legs so I could grab some undies and then put in a pad, which I soaked through shortly.  Then I called C and told him to head home (he was surprisingly calm) and called my brother & SIL to tell them they'd have to pick up Addy from daycare.  Then I tried to figure out what to wear to the hospital that wouldn't be a problem to get ruined.  I also tried to figure out what to do with my wet hair since I knew it would be a while before I saw a shower again.

I also called my dr's office and told them then they called the hospital to make sure there was a bed available and told me that we were good to go!  I packed some extra things in our hospital bag and waited for C to get home.  I also laid down for a bit because I hadn't felt the baby move for a while (or maybe I didn't register it because I was panicking).

We got to the hospital around 1pm and they put me in a room and started checking me in.  I was GBS Positive so I knew I'd have an IV coming.  The doctor came in around 1:30 and checked me and I was only dialated to 2 1/2 and still not really having contractions (just random ones that weren't even uncomfortable).  She brought up pitocin, which I didn't really want, but said she'd let me go for a bit to see if my body kicked in.  Then it was IV time. 

C had left his wallet at school so he ran out to get it before things really started happening.  While he was gone they put in the IV.  The first needle hit something in my arm and bent (!) so they had to do it again.  I started to get faint and feel nauseated so they reclined the bed and got cool wash cloths and of course, that was when C walked in the room.  I yelled out immediately that I was ok.

After that we hung out for a bit.  At 4:30 they started pitocin.  I was worried because of all the stories I've heard but it wasn't so bad.  They started me on a very low drip, hoping that the chemical would "remind" my body that it had a job to do.  Contractions started slowly and C & I started doing laps around the maternity ward.

I started at 2 ml/something and they bumped me up to 4 after a while.  At 4, the contractions weren't totally painful, but I never came completely down from them.  I could handle the pain but I couldn't handle not having a break between them.  So they bumped it back down but my contractions kept coming, which was good.  It meant my body was taking over.  I made it through most of the contractions by leaning over the bed which was raised and swaying my hips while C rubbed my back. 

I had told them earlier that I would pretty much be demanding an epidural (I'm a wimp) so around 7:30 they told me that the doctor (I can't spell anesthesiologist) was up for another patient and did I want him to come see me?  I told them to put me on the list, scared that if I said no, he'd leave the hospital and it would be forever before I had another chance.  I still had to wait an hour before I saw him.

Once I got the epi, I laid in bed for the remainder.  Apparently, I'm one of those people that has a blocker in my spine that doesn't allow the epi to fully get to my right side.  I could still feel the contractions on the right, but they weren't as painful as they had been.  I had a clicker to up the doseage but I ended up only using it once.  The baby's heartrate also dropped after the epi so we had a scary 5 minutes while they rolled me from side to side and gave me oxygen.  It was fine after that.  Also, after the epi, I was dialated to a 7 but I had no idea how long it would take to get the rest of the way.

Around 10, the nurse checked me again and said that I was completely dialated but said she'd let me labor for a bit longer.  The epi had fully kicked in and I couldn't feel a single contraction.  I could just barely move my legs.  Finally, at 10:30 she said we'd start pushing.  She & C had to watch the monitor and tell me when to push because I literally couldn't tell if I was having contractions.

After about 35 minutes, she went to get the doctor because we were getting close.  The doctor came in a after a few pushes told me she was going to give me an episiomoty.  I had had one with Addy and she was worried about the degree of tearing since it was a "weak spot".  It was very quick and then she told me we were just going to do some light pushes so we didn't strain anything.  Then she looked down and said "never mind".  She told me that basically, my body was taking over (again) and the baby was coming out!

I actually sat up and watched as my baby girl came into the world.  I literally was not doing any pushing, it was amazing.  They got her out and put her right on my bare chest (I requested skin to skin right away) and she wailed.  We double-checked she was a girl and just reveled in our new daughter.  She was born at 11:17pm on 5/21 (our first wedding anniversary!) and weighed in at 8lbs even.  She was 20.5" long.

We're home now and doing pretty well.  Knock on wood, she had been good to us over the past few nights, sleeping in 3 hour stretches and waking only to eat.  We got some good awake time yesterday so I'm hoping that we won't have too many issues with the day & night confusion.

Theresa Lynn (both of our mothers' middle names) - but we are calling her Reese

Family picture