Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Still Just Okay

My body is craving sleep right now.  I know it's a coping mechanism but sleep is all I want to do lately.  I don't want to wake up at 5:15am, I don't want to stay up past 9pm, it's nuts.  Every morning the alarm goes off and all I can think is, "Are you serious?!"  It's like there's no possible way that it's already 5:15am and I'm still this tired.

The past 2 nights I've fallen asleep on the couch at 9pm.  C just lets me, he doesn't quite get what I'm going through but he's being very patient and understanding.

My body is not craving food so much.  Dinner is my best meal of the day, meaning that's when I eat the most, likely because C is with me.  Breakfast is non-existent and lunch is miniscule.  I don't really care.  I mean, I am eating but mostly out of need.

Work still sucks.  The first day back was the worst with half the people asking me if I was ok and half the people not knowing and wondering if I took a vacation for a week and how was it anyway?  Awkward.  I felt so lost the first day, not quite knowing what to work on, trying to fill in gaps of what had been covered for me and what needed to be done.

I have her memory card from the service in my office where I can see it all the time.  I can't decide if it's a good idea or bad idea.  I'd rather remember her like that instead of at the end anyway.

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