Corey & I with the judge at our small wedding last September.
So when we left off, I was explaining that even though C & I are married, it shouldn't take away from our wedding in May. We didn't set out to hurt anyone, we did what we thought was best at the time for our family. We tried to spare everyone's feelings by leaving out everyone instead of picking & choosing who would be present.
Unfortunately, that backfired and some people were extremely hurt that we would do this without telling/inviting them.
Long story short, resolution has been reached but not without some damage to our relationship (mine & the person, not mine & Corey's). We both have hurt feelings about how each person handled the situation. This person will make every attempt to attend the wedding but at what cost? And now instead of being happy that this person will attend, it's feelings of guilt that this episode had to take place to get them to attend.
Bottom line: Weddings suck. Weddings are built up to be this joyous occasion where you're surrounded by family and friends who love you and support your relationship and sometimes that isn't always the case. Sometimes your closest friends or family members can't or won't make it to your wedding. That leaves you with 2 choices.
1) you can mope and cry and feel sorry for yourself and wonder why people won't respect the fact that it's your special day dammit and get all cranky and threaten to just call the whole thing off and make your loving fiancee pull you back from the edge
or 2) you can accept that while your wedding is the most special event to happen to you (so far), other people's worlds do not revolve around you and your wedding. You can accept that due to the economy (thanks a lot Middle East) and time and whatever else is going on, some people will not make it. Some important people won't make it.
The wedding industry has built up weddings to the point where they are the END ALL BE ALL of any event EVER. We are all brainwashed with to think that our weddings mean nothing without tons of people witnessing our professions of love. I'm not being cynical, I'm just explaining the way I see it.
Once you get past all that, you become thankful for the people that do make the effort and you put on your big girls pants and forgive/understand that some people simply can't. Most of the time it's not because they don't want to, they actually can't.
I'm not saying I'm there yet, but I'm getting there. I will probably still miss some people at the wedding but maybe, just maybe, I'll be even more grateful for the ones that are there.