Tuesday, May 3, 2011

See You in September

Back in September, C & I made the decision to get legally married in a very small, very private courthouse ceremony.

(I'm sure I blogged about it at some point but I can't find it right now.)

We planned the whole thing in about 4 weeks and told a handful of people.  We didn't tell our parents or grandparents or any of my brothers, save one, or anyone else.  We told a few friends, but in reality, about 6 people other than us knew anything about it.

The only reason we told one brother & his wife is because we needed a witness for the ceremony.  They made the most sense because 1) we like them 2) C feels the closest to this brother out of the four 3) they didn't have any children at that point to worry about and 4) we did a photo shoot right after for our Save the Dates and she had the DSLR.

We mainly did it for insurance purposes.  To get us all on the same plan, with the same deductible as a legal family.  I'd by lying if I said we weren't excited about it.  There was something so romantic about that day.  About our secret.

We mad the decision to keep it small for a number of reasons.  We didn't want to have to deal with who got invited or what lunch we'd do after or how none of C's family would be present but somehow it was supposed to be ok to involve all of mine.  We decided it would be better to offend everyone because then we could say, "Yes, you weren't there but neither were our parents.  That's how small it was."

The ceremony was literally 5 minutes long but the vows are binding forever.  We knew that.

What we didn't know is that people would actually get upset about not being invited.  About choosing one brother over another.  About us keeping a secret.

So upset, that they considered skipping the May wedding because if we didn't think they "were special enough to invite them in September, then why would May be any different?"

This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.  I didn't want what happened in September to take away from May.  Yes, we are already legally married but my dad didn't walk me down the aisle, we didn't have a first dance or a cake or any of those things.  We said the bare minimum of vows to make it legal and that was that.  

May is the celebration.  May is the culmination of 3 years together and almost a year of planning.  May is the big white dress and my father's arm and the profession of love in front of everyone near and dear to us.

Or so I thought.

To be continued...

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