Thursday, February 17, 2011


I e-mailed a therapist about pre-marital counseling yesterday.  I know you're probably thinking, "Isn't it a little late for that since you're already married?" and, "What's wrong?"

But the answer is nothing's wrong and I want to keep it that way.

Back in September when C & I decided to have our little civil ceremony, part of our deal was that we would do pre-marital counseling at some point before May.  It's something I've wanted us to do since we got engaged.  And C was on board with it so we went ahead and got married.

The thing about C & I is that we never fight.  Honestly.  We're just one of those couples that talk through it instead of having an all out fight.  I'm not saying either way is right or wrong and how couples choose to handle disputes is between them but C is the son of kind of a therapist and he's really big on talking.  On one hand it's kind of refreshing to find a man who's actually willing to discuss his feelings instead of shutting down, but on the other it's annoying when he wants to talk about things and I just want to stew for a bit.

But we both realize that our relationship has always been going at the speed of light and as much as we love each other how much do we still have to learn about one another?  We jumped into this thing so quickly I worry that down the road we may come upon something we don't know how to handle and we are not prepared for.

I'm not so naive that I think we're never going to fight or that we'll never have an actual screaming match.  We will, it will come.  But when it happens I'd like to be prepared.  I want to take the steps now to prepare for our future together so there never comes a time when something is too great for us to handle.

I figure marriage counselors will bring up topics we've never thought to discuss.  Things we haven't talked about but we'll probably be surprised at each other's answers when they come up.

It can only make us stronger in my opinion.

1 comment:

  1. Catholics have to take a test called the FOCCUS test during pre-cana, which is their required pre-marriage counseling. It's basically a 120 question questionnaire that each partner answers, and based on the similarity of how you answer questions in specific areas (money, family, children, sex, etc.), it can determine how compatible you are and how successful your marriage might be. I'd take it with a grain of salt in determining how well we'd make a marriage work, but I still think it would be interesting to take it just to see if we really are on the same page about stuff.