Friday, April 1, 2011


I've been staring at this blank box pretty much all day.  I came here a few times to update but ended up getting distracted (by work, WTH?) and never actually wrote a blog.

I have nothing really wedding related today.  Instead I've been thinking about relationships.

C was coughing all last night again and I am tired again.  And even though I wanted to smother him in his sleep, I understand that it's not really his fault.  That I'm angry at the situation and not really him.  He can't help that he's sick, though he could have taken the cough syrup the first time I asked him at midnight instead of mumbling something and rolling over.

So this morning C offered to sleep on the couch tonight to let me get some rest.  And my immediate reaction was to say no.  I don't want him to sleep somewhere else, I want him next to me!  And that's where the irony comes in to me.  I am desperate to get some decent sleep but I don't want to sleep without him.  I can't have both.

Relationships are hard.  They take a lot of patience and a lot of understanding.  Add in a 2-year old and my patience bank just became limitless.  Last night Addy decided to color on my laptop.  On the cover, not the actual screen or anything.  But I looked at C and said, "How do I discipline her for something that she did 15 minutes ago?  She won't understand why she's getting a time out."  He didn't know either.  

So I tried to talk to her but she can only partially grasp, "Addy, we don't color on this, we color on paper.  This is not paper."  Even I realize that's far too much information at one time for her.

Honestly, I'm still not sure what I was supposed to do in that situation.  I don't want to be one of those parents who is suddenly catering to their child's every whim and not realizing how they got there.  I don't forsee that for our family but I bet most parents never think, "Oh, when I have kids I'm going to give them whatever they want and turn them in to spoiled brats because it's easier than dealing with their tantrums and endless questions." 

Of course not!  All those parents really said, "I'm going to do it RIGHT.  Everything in moderation and my kids will learn to be polite and respectful and they will NEVER ask for a candy bar at the grocery store and if they do I'll say no once and they'll let it go."

Why do you think we carry Addy through most of the grocery store?  Hint: it's not because we want the extra exercise.

So, discipline.  Our doctor said not to count to 3 because that lets her win in a way.  She gets to keep doing what she was doing for 3 more counts.  He said if she already knows she's not supposed to do something then it's an immediate time out.  Maybe one warning to be clear.  But that's only in the case that she's doing some bad and we catch her in the act.

What if she won't pick up her toy?  And we ask her to and she just doesn't do it?  Do I put her in time out and THEN make her pick up the toy?  Do I make her pick up the toy first?  I realize that she still needs to pick up the toy but when?  And then there's the above situation where we don't catch her doing it and find it after the fact.  I'm not going to treat her like a dog and rub her nose in it but what?

This parenting stuff is hard, yo!

(I didn't mean this to turn into an entry about parenting, but that's where it ended up!)

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